Be Afraid. I Know I Am

TOWLEROAD REPORTS ON someone in a show I can't bare breaking his penis. Well, this can't pass without comment, really, can it? Boys, boys, boys, we don't really know much about our part (as seminal R&B group Ultimate Kaos referred to it in their last ever single, My Lover) do we? Did you know, for example, that "your penis is shaped like a boomerang. Just like you don't see all of a big oak tree above ground, you don't see the root of your penis tucked up inside your pelvis and attached to your pubic bone." You learn something new everyday. And here's what all the fuss is about: "There is no 'penis bone,' but you can break your penis all the same. It's called penile fracture, and it's not a subtle injury. When it happens, there's an audible pop or snap [and] the penis turns black and blue. And there's terrible pain." Well, that's just terrifying. I wonder if that's what Haydon was referring to in his unfathomable lyric "if you touch / my part / you'll hear a nasty sound..."