THE WEEK ACCORDING TO GARÇON STUPIDE

*São Paulo Fashion Week signs an agreement to fight racial discrimination on the runways; 10 per cent quota of black or indigenous models must be met. (Just 10 per cent? In Brazil?)

*Charlie Brooker reviews the BNP's political broadcast, and presents a novel solution to ridding Blighty of the rightwing facists.

*Still, the BNP can celebrate on one front at least: the Poles are going home.

*Oh dear, this is very sad: "Daily Mail haemorrhaging money"(excuse me whilst I collapse in a fit of derision).

*Transport for London tries to sell the first of its "miserable, inhuman and socialistc" bendy buses. So, former Ken introduced them, and Boris got himself elected on a I Hate Bendy Buses ticket. Anyone else think this is just a case of boys and really big toys?

*The rare photo of a black British soldier discovered in France.

*Did MI5 attempt to blackmail Muslim community workers?

*Ethiopia, where no one can here you queen: "Members are always clean-shaved with some having red paint on their fingernails. After observing those characteristics, you either blink at one another or flip lip balm tubes to give signs."

*Meanwhile in Mexico City, SGL couples "embrace lovingly in public or hold hands without drawing so much as a raised eyebrow". But life ain't perfect in Zona Rosa.

*And in Singapore, our SGL brothers and sisters hold their first public gay rights rally. The chewing gum brigade will shortly demand equal rights, too.


*Cambodia is celebrating a slightly different first - their first Mr. Gay!

*It's a hoot in Baghdad too: you're invited to the first U.S. Embassy Gay Pride Theme Party.

*Broken record: Russian police and SGL activist duet is a bloody hit. But hell, just like the Olympics in Beijing, let's ignore the ugly truth and have some fun! On that note, Popnograhpy explores 10 Reasons Why Russia is SO gay.

*And again, Mister Obama, just what in hell are you doing for us? Didn't you promise to help? An 18-year veteran of the US Air Force, Decorated Lt. Colonel Victor Fehrenbach, is being fired under Don't Ask, Don't Tell, "two years short of being able to retire with full pension benefits". Disgusting.

*The 9-year-old who organised a gay marriage rally: "Everybody is different in a good way," he says. From the mouths of babes...

*Some of that common sense seems to have rubbed off on mainstream boy candy Romeo, who's frequently accused of being more than just good friends with former B2K'er Omarion. He said of d*ckless wonder Ja Rule's homohate rant: "It was ignorant of him to say. Gays are everywhere. That’s not changing. I have a few friends who are gay and why not? They alright with me."

*But Shawn and Marlon Wayans want to know: "how are we gay?" Well boys, I close my eyes, and...

*I don't do American Idol, so this was the first I'd seen or heard of Adam Lambert. I must say, he keeps good company. Can I join your gang, Adam?

*Major Hollywood stars can do it, but apparently, it's a no-no for some actors on those archaic US soaps: Chris Engen resigns after refusing to kiss Yani Gellman. (Looking at the two of them, you'd have thought it would be the other way around. Yummy Gellman is interviewed at Out.com.)

*Usually, they all look the same, don't they? Not for North American mockingbirds - they can tell us apart, and woe betide any man (or woman) who's messed with their nest.

*At least they're not flying upside down and back-to-front, like this character.

*Gawd almighty - new kids on the block, and they ain't all pretty. The transparent Dracula fish has fangs, and then there's the "flesh-eating ghost slug". Most eye-popping of all is the truly bizarre Macropinna microstoma - it's head alone is transparent, inside of which float its eyes. Spectacular.

*Is spite right? I'm a big fan of spite, and it turns out that it might be "our best weapon in maintaining a fair and ordered society". At least, that's what some boffins think.

*Creativity closely linked with intelligence.

*When I was a child, I used to give myself headaches thinking about what was beyond the universe. If the universe is a finite thing, then what is it in? Think about it, but not for too long, because you'll get a headache too. In any case, boffins think the universe is flat. Well, there's a 67 per cent probability that it is.

*Lazy people who rely on GPS (in SatNav and on their iPhones, for example) will be up the creek without a paddle with the GPS system being close to collapse. Be afraid.

*Remember when Vila and Avon used Orac to beat the house and walk away with a fortune? No? As it happens, it turns out that late 1970s episode of Blake's 7 was an accurate prediction of the future - poker is one of "Nine games computers are ruining for humanity" (happily, my beloved Transport Tycoon isn't on the list).

*One in ten men are on the brink of alcoholism.

*A HIV saliva test in 20 minutes, and a HIV vaccine that turns muscles into factories for churning out antibodies which kill the virus. Meanwhile, the spread of HIV through Europe has been mapped out - and it followed holiday routes...

*Boiling brains, exploding skulls and spontaneous human combustion: meet the team who set fire to corpses in a range of different circumstances, to work out exactly how the human body burns.

*Banning the plastic bag in China has saved the equivalent of 1.6 million tonnes of oil.

*Turmeric: the spice of life?

*A glowing phone!

*Really old wallpaper!

*YouTube attacked by porn!

*Bush scoops poop!

*Clinton rescues Haiti!

*Music's biggest egos - which quote makes you feel most sick?

*Speaking of which, Bette Midler on 50 Cent: "He has really made my life worth living."

*Pick Up The Mic: a documentary about the (r)evolution of homohop, starring Deadlee, Tori Fixx, QBoy and more...

*On the stage: "two naked black men simulating oral and anal sex". Now that's my kinda theatre!

*Matthew Rush teaches Francois Sagat to make paper planes. Sadly, their scene for Titan is a watersports scene. Why oh why did they have to go and spoil a perfect pairing?

*Michael Lucas films an entire hardcore porn scene in a subway car - while it's in service! Better still, one of the models is ka-ostheory favourite Rafael Alencar.

*Sherlock Holmes gets the thumbs up; The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus gets slated.

*Sky1 axes Gladiators. I don't actually care, I only mention it because it means I can put up pictures of David McIntosh, a.k.a. Tornado.

*The Apprentice is renowned for bringing the most appalling examples of humanity to our screens. Just imagine what it would be like if Siralan's apprentices were TEENAGERS! Too horrible to be true? Probably. Is it going to happen? It looks like it.

*Coming soon: Treme, an "allegorical drama" from the creator of The Wire.

*Maria Amelia Lopez, the world's oldest blogger, 1911-2009.

ISSUE 10

On the cover: Henry Watkins

2 comments:

Urban Shotz said...

Did you see this week's Christian Party political broadcast which promised justice for all - unless you happen to be gay of course?

Strange that it was fronted by their leader George Hargreaves, who wrote gay anthems 'So Macho' and 'Cruising' for Simon Cowell's ex Sinitta.

http://theologynow.blogspot.com/

Cup-o-Noodles said...

I don't know where I sit in regards to the USAF Officer. For one, he's been there for 18 years - and just now decided to come out? Or maybe he's being made example of? Obviously his immediate CO knows about it (and as is the case with the majority of "us" in the service). I've gotten verbal reminders myself (to "be mindful"), but nobody is out on a witch hunt. I think there's tons more to the story, the little details and what not, that leads up to the discharge. After 18 years of service... I dunno, it's just very confusing. Let the witch hunt begin.

*heavy sigh*

 
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