Le fate ignoranti

THROUGHthe
LOOKINGGLASS

a pixelated pick'n'mix

The Sun Will Explode

I have a Dell desktop, the specificications of which I knew only when I read them on the order page, and which I instantly forgot when I clicked Confirm Order. (I also have a laptop of some description that stopped working for no apparent reason, but which I'm embarassed to get repaired due to the possibly abnormal volume of porn contained on it.)

Golly though, I'd love my computer to look like this:

Oh, and you wouldn't, I suppose? Bah! Maybe you haven't seen the classic, pessimistic SF space opera Blake's 7, in which everyone was a bad guy, even the good guys, and in which the super-computer Orac looked exactly like the box of delights above.

See? So, the logic is, wouldn't it be awesome if my computer looked just like Orac? Don't get it? Grrr... why do I bother?

Such things as the transparent PC case pictured above are sold by Logisys, as well as "cold cathode super deluxe combo kits, liquid neon thunder patterns, and 5 LED lazer lights" (according to Tech Digest).

That same site, Tech Digest, has news of all manner of cool gadget thingumys, like this 150" Panasonic telly:
Oh-er, it's a big 'un, innit? Perfect for watching Matthew Rush, or even David Attenborough (and no, I don't know who of the two I'd most prefer to spend some time with). If your mind is as filthy as that, you might like this accessory for your iPlod - er, sorry, I mean iPod - or even your mobile phone. Yes indeed, it's what it looks like - a vibrating cock ring, if you please.

Apparently, it activates when you receive a text or call, and even on demand, should the need arise. Well, you just don't get that sort of malarkey with MiniDisc, that's all I'm going to say.

Of course, none of this will matter if the sun explodes in 2011 or 2012. Boffins at The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration say that the sun is going into a new cycle of sunspot activity. The worst case scenario is that power grids will collapse, GPS systems will fail (bad news for planes, trains and automobiles, I suppose) and mobile phone networks will go down (that's a bad thing, is it?)

It's only a possibly, maybe, kids, so don't go out and have loads of unprotected sex because you think civilisation is going to end in a few years. In any case, we'll probably all be flooded out by then thanks to the Americans and the Chinese exacerbating global warming, or be in little bits at the hands of some Islamic nutjobs...

Happy 2008!

Sony MZ-RH1

THIS IS THE Sony MZ-RH1 Portable Hi-MD Recorder.

Compatible with both Hi-MD and standard MD, one single MiniDisc (1GB) can hold around 675 tracks (or 45 hours worth of music).

This compares well with the ubiquitous iPod, without the limitations, all too prevalent software glitches, and battery issues. I'd rather not join the iPod herd, and MP3 is a pretty horrible format. It's also pretty sexy, I'm sure you'll agree, particularly in comparison to that dreary beige thing with it's hateful little wheel. The following facts and figures come from MiniDisco...

The MZ-RH1 is fully backward compatible with all minidisc recordings. Records SP/Mono/LP2/LP4 format audio to standard MD discs and uploads standard MD recordings to PC. Plus, Mac users now have the ability to record in PCM, Hi-SP and Hi-LP and upload those recordings in .WAV format via USB. Uploading is in no way restricted (unlimited uploads of mic, line and digital recordings are permitted). Large 1 Line EL (Organic Electroluminescence) Main Unit LCD Display Multi-Function 1-Line Backlit LCD Remote Control supplied Mic input and Line input - ability to Record From Multiple Sources Record and Playback Uncompressed Linear PCM Audio Aluminum Lid reduces weight and increases durability 11 Segment Recording Level Meter Display Self Recording Upload Function with option to save in .WAV format Mic sensitivity and manual recording level can be adjusted on-the-fly, while recording is underway VPT Acoustic Engine & 6 Band Equalizer Date/Time stamp recording Digital Pitch Control (change playback speed without changing pitch) -50/+100% 1GB of Music Storage (about 675 songs) on one Hi-MD MiniDisc Compatible with Both Hi-MD and Standard MiniDisc media Store up to 45 Hours on a Hi-MD MiniDisc media Store up to 13 Hours on a Standard MiniDisc media Plays Back MP3/ATRAC3®/ATRAC3plus™ Audio Formats USB 2.0 Compatible Supports WMA and WAV Audio Formats with Conversion to ATRAC3® Format Skip-Free G-Protection™ Technology Battery life: up to 19 hours playback, 10.5 hours recording Inputs: USB, Mic In, Line In (analog and optical digital) (1/8" stereo mini plug), DC in 5V Outputs: USB, Headphone/Remote (1/8" stereo mini plug) Color: Black UPC Code: 027242689220 Dimensions:3 3/8 x 3 3/8 x 19/32 in. (83.8 x 84.4 x 14.7mm) 3.4oz (96g) recorder only, 3.7oz (106g) including the rechargeable battery