KAOS: Are You Being Served?

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I ain't a pussy-person. When people look at me, they don't think cat, they think dog

Why so uptight about calling male booty, boy pussy, boogina, et cetera?

For some, it just doesn't sound right. Fellow blogger and cutey Toddy English is one: "I only call my ass an: ass, booty (my favorite. The word literally means ‘treasure’), bum, rump, golden humps, or rectum."

Rectum? RECTUM? Speaking as a devotee of the Breion Diamond cult of salad tossing, the booty is a thrilling sexual playground. "Rectum", on the other hand, is a stomach-churning clinical term. That might excite some freaks, but not your correspondent.

For others, boy pussy is something to get their holier-than-thou knickers in a twist over. "My bottom is precisely that - my bottom," they say sniffily. "A pussy is part of the female anatomy." You can bet they don't manscape, and no one wants to go near their boogina in the first place. They're probably the same people who say porn is boring, and that people who sleep around are just disgusting!

Let's get something straight, kids. Unless your name's Mrs Slocombe or Wanda Sykes, a pussy is something a dick goes in. If you're lucky, a really big dick (colour optional). Therefore, a boy that takes dick must have a pussy. A boy pussy, in fact. (I personally don't like "boogina" or "mangina". It just sounds too much like the "V" word, and that kinda makes me sick.)

With that being said, be care careful where, when and how you toss your boy pussies (or variations thereof) about. Like bukake gone cold, it doesn't always go down well.

Title quote: "I ain't a pussy-person. When people look at me, they don't think 'cat', they think 'dog'." Dialogue, Linda LaHughes, Gimme, Gimme, Gimme (1999).

MOLLIE SUGDEN IS DEAD

THE ACTRESS MOLLIE SUGDEN has died at the age of 86. The actress is best know for her role as Mrs. Slocombe in Are You Being Served? Thanks for the laughs madamn, you were amazing. ELSEWHERE - Are You Being Served? star Mollie Sugden dies PREVIOUSLY - Wendy Richard Is Dead PREVIOUSLY - John Inman Is Dead

Wendy Richard Is Dead

THE ACTRESS WENDY Richard has died.

Richard (pictured above, left, with Molly Sugden) is best known for her role as Pauline Fowler in EastEnders, and as Miss Brahms in 70s sitcom Are You Being Served?

I grew up watching both characters, laughing at the antics of Miss Brahms in Grace Bros department store, and smiling wryly at grim Pauline. Everyone knows a Pauline - and if you don't, thank your lucky stars. Thank you Mrs Richard. You were loved.