THE WEEK ACCORDING TO GARÇON STUPIDE

*And the winner is... Thiago Silvestre is crowned Mr Gay Brasil 2009. Well, it was never going to be the black guy, was it? Last week, reader 'Joseph' pointed out, "Chocolate is conspicuously absent on the Mr. Gay Brazil roster, in [a] country with the world's largest population of the African diaspora..."

*There's plenty more pictures and footage from the final at ParouTudo..

*So maybe our guy didn't win Mr Gay Brazil, but the good news is that Jovonnie won his category at the inaugural Blatino Awards, romping home with 47 per cent of the vote in the Best Acting Versatile category. Dream beat both Breion Diamond and Ian Rock in the Best Acting Top category (I'd find it hard to choose between the three). Disappointingly, Kidd managed only 19 per cent and a third placing in the Best Acting Bottom category. Raw Rods 2 and Raw Dickin' It were the top placed DVDs, a result that will cause some controversy, given their content. Somehow, the totally pointless Castro (a.k.a. Supreme) managed to win Most Notable Porn Star, despite being a character-vacuum. I guess being light, having a huge endowment, and being, like, totally straight-acting (i.e. having no personality and acting like you don't want to be there/only doing it for the money, et cetera) is all you need to get by... View all of the results here. View more pictures from the awards here.

*Gospel artist Tonéx talks candidly about his sexuality.

*Rapper Fabolous is the instigator of #uknowhowiknowuregay on Twitter. This, from someone who's stage name is "Fabolous". Okay then...

*We need to speak up against homophobia in music.

*Suspected gay basher and hate crime instigator Buju Banton has had seven shows cancelled in the U.S. - but twenty concerts are still scheduled. Let's hope they too are scrapped.

*Jamaica. Jamaica, Jamaica, Jamaica. Such a small island, yet so much hate. The Independent reports on Gay Hell.

*And Peter Tatchell also writes, "Some years ago, a Jamaican newspaper falsely claimed there was going to be a Gay Pride march in Kingston. Hundreds of people wielding guns, machetes, clubs and knives turned up at the alleged starting point of the march. They had come to kill the 'batty men'. Armed police turned up too – not to protect the gay marchers, but I believe to help murder them."

*The Jamaica Gleaner makes no mention of the homosexual angle in its report on the murder of John Terry.

*Ahmet Yildiz (above) was the victim of an honour killing, allegedly perpetrated by his father. The trial is now underway in Turkey.

*Homosexuality leads to bestiality, pedophilia and necrophilia. That's the gospel according to Igor Rybin, MD of Belarusian Medical Academy of Post-Graduates. (I could write more, but I've got a hot date at the morgue.)

*"She wears little eye-patch underwear. So, the other day she came here with her underwear, Thursday. And
so, we had made love Wednesday - a lot! And so she'll, she's all, 'I am going up and down the stairs, and you're dripping out of me!' So messy!'" That's anti-gay, family values California Assemblyman Michael Duvall caught on camera talking about an affair with a female lobbyist. He is married with two children.

*20 per cent of public school homosexual students in Rio de Janeiro abandon school because of discrimination.

*Last Sunday, 50,000 people celebrated the fourth Parada da Diversidade de Florianópolis. That's Gay Pride in Floripa to you, squire. (Above and below.)

*Last weekend's Gay Dignity march in Budapest passed largely without incident, thanks to a massive security operation that kept extreme right-wing groups at bay. More on that story here.

*I'll hazard a guess that despite this, Budapest isn't one of the cities from which Amsterdam is trying to win back the title of gay capital. Short article, but the comments give an insight into what's going on in the Dutch city.

*Amsterdam isn't the only place where anti-gay sentiment is soaring: some gay men from Italy will claim asylum in Spain because of the 'increasing homophobia' in their own country. One reader, 'GP' from Rome, says, "Italy today is probably one of the worst EU countries for gays to live in, on a par with the Baltic States, Poland and Romania... I am 50 years old and with a business here, otherwise I too would pack my bags and leave, if only I were 20 years younger."

*The twilight life of Malaysia's Muslim transsexuals.

*"I am also writing to world leaders and trying to make a world free from homosexuals. My biggest push has been in the United States of America. The country needs as much help as possible at the moment – change will happen. Then hopefully it will spread around the world." The "ex-gay" Australian nurse who wrote that drivel has had his license to practice suspended by the Queensland Nursing Council.

*"The Taliban at least appears to have some sort of decent sort of family affairs... We in this country have created mayhem through lax social policies of disregard for marriage and the family and we have created mayhem in society." So speaks the Mayor of Doncaster, Peter Davies, who previously attempted to remove funding for the city's gay pride parade.

*From Tom of Finland to Abercrombie & Fitch - or, did AIDS radically restructure gay masculinity?

*Money, ex's, alcohol use and issues with friends: the thorns in the side of gay relationships.

*Montreal's oldest gay bar - opened in 1972 - is to close.

*The spank-worthy Christian porn site mixing values with homoerotica (above right). Or, in their own words, we got punk'd.

*The billboards that asks, "Would Jesus Discriminate?" The LGBT Metropolitan Community Church is behind the campaign.

*Pastors' sexual misconduct "prevalent".

*Albert L. Gordon, a heterosexual attorney who became "the leading pro bono lawyer to L.A.'s gay community", has died. Read his extraordinary story here.

*The LGBT community is the most discriminated-against social group, closely followed by Muslims and Hispanics, a new study (by the Pew Research Centre in the U.S.) has found.

*Gay Latino Americans - who say they face discrimination in and outside their community - are 'coming of age'.

*"The treatment of code-breaker Alan Turing was utterly unfair," writes Prime Minister Gordon Brown. "I'm proud to say sorry to a real war hero."

*How Britain drove its greatest genius Alan Turing to suicide... just for being gay.

*Women and ethnic minorites overrepresented in gay military ban firings.

*The publisher of a book which claimed Peter Tatchell and gay rights organisation OutRage! were "part of the Islamophobia industry" and involved in "racial politics" has issued an unreserved apology, which can be viewed here.

*The results of Castor Semenya's gender verification tests are in, and they've already been breathlessly reported by other bloggers. You won't find any of the details here, because it's none of our damn business. Shame on those of you who eagerly reported the outcome, further compounding her humiliation.

*4000 people have already died in Mexico's drugs war this year. There are alternatives, Clare Wilson writes for NewScientist. Illegal drugs could be prescribed by doctors, consumed at licensed premises or sold commercially, in line with alcohol and tobacco.

*The Big Picture: Remembering September 11th (38 pictures). Above, the remains of the TV antenna from 1 World Trade Center. Below, David Filipov looks for a picture of his father, Al Filipov, at the Tribute WTC Visitor Center in New York City.

*London searches for its identity: "7 weeks to consult, engage the public, design and implement a highly controversial brand that will have to co-exist with the TfL roundel and the Olympic mark, whilst gluing together all the other, disparate organisations? Oh, London, what have you done..."

*I'm 6'2, so this news is very welcome: life is happier for taller people.

*When did you last have sex? (Feel free to leave your answers in the comment box. Yes, that is a hint.)

*Couples should sleep apart - for the sake of their health, boffins suggest. I'm more than happy to share a bed with someone, but I just can't sleep with anyone.

*Vitamins - for most people - are pointless, a waste of money, and possibly detrimental to one's health.

*Remember last week's HIV-awareness featuring Adolf Hitler doing it bareback? Of course you do. Lots of people were disturbed by it, except neo-Nazis, who were probably a bit aroused. Elizabeth Pisani writes for The Guardian, "HIV doesn't always kill. I object to an advert that likens the virus to a mass murderer." She goes on to say, "How do you try to prevent something that you are simultaneously trying to normalise?"

*Animal pictures of the week (30 pictures). Above, a two-day-old monkey.

*Great tits prey on bats as they awake from hibernation and eat them alive - killing them only when they peck open their brain case. What a way to go...

*Giant rats!

*Speaking of giant rats... 50 Cent says he created himself, and he's going to destroy himself. Or something.

*The ex-girlfriend of boy-man Marvin Humes, of JLS fame, has gone and made a song about him cheating on her. It's called Cheat Again, which is a clever (heh, heh) riff on the JLS hit Beat Again.

*And here's a nice picture (left) of Marvin and his chest out raving last weekend, allegedly with Usain-you're-boring-me-now-Bolt and Lewis-pretty-face-shame-about-the-body-Hamilton. Sadly for Marvin, it seems like Bolt and Hamilton hooked up together and left him out in the cold: "The two speedsters enjoyed themselves and seemed to be exchanging notes at one point." Uh huh, I bet they were.

*Here's the cover art for the new JLS single. We can use it to play my favourite boyband game, which is to guess who is paired with who, and who is cheating on who. I'm going to say Aston (second from left) and Oritsé (seated) are a couple, but things are rocky. JB (second from right) and Marvin are happy together but JB has feelings for his best friend Aston (that's why they're leaning into each other). Marvin and Oritsé had a passionate DL fling and Oritsé is using it to blackmail Marvin for sex - but Marvin is desperate to keep it quiet lest it blow things with JB. Sound good? Or can you extrapolate your own sexy, boyband soap?

*Diesel Washington presents Pornstar 101, with this instructional film. Pay attention now!

*Collin O'Neal talks about the effect the economic crisis has had on his studio.

*Why Botox could have saved poor Dorian from the devil.

*The Hobbit is on the way to the big screen.

*And Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Mickey Rourke and Dolph Lundgren will all appear in a film called The Expendables, due out next year. Er...

*It's the end of British television as we know it. The Government is to allow product placement on commercial television - but not the BBC. Imagine Coronation Street in the near future: The Rover Return will become a branch of JD Wetherspoon, Roys Rolls will be taken over by McDonalds, and Liz McDonald and Deirdre will discuss their favourite brand of cigarettes. The public want less advertising rammed down their throats - not more.

*Speaking of Coronation Street, the stupidly sexy Lucien Laviscount will leave our screens at the end of the year. There's a good set of screencaps of the boy wonder here.

*The Hack Chair, by Berlin designer Ronen Kadushin. Want one? Just download it.

*Hopfenburg, by German architects Spine. Enter the TARDIS...

*German footballers have big balls. In their arms.

*Be the facebulge of Calvin Klein.

*The Big Picture: Recent Hindu festivals and rituals (36 absolutely stunning pictures).

Issue 26 of The Week According To Garçon Stupide was built from articles collated during the week 06-12 September 2009.

POSTSCRIPT

"You know, we might just as well not have bothered to come.

The whole thing's been ridiculous."