OVER AT TRÉ'S X-Ray Vision, women are causing yet more trouble. Or are they? Tré, ever ready to jump all over any sign of prejudice, is in a high dudgeon about his pal's reaction to the presence of women at a sex party. His chum responded to an invite to SPAM (Sex Party And More; a party for men and women of the LGBT community - no straight people allowed!) with: "Are there going to be girls there? ew!" It's the "ew" that's got Tré worked up, and I have to confess I would have reacted to the thought of women at a sex party with an "ew" too. The only kind of cauliflower I like is steamed and served up on a plate! But as Tré points out, "Ew! Girls" is the reaction one might expect from a five year-old, not a twenty-something, and his article made me examine my own thoughts on women - and some of the things I've written on this blog. In the past I've made some inflammatory statements about women, some of which I regret, because I'm not the misogynistic jerk I sometimes paint myself as. However, I am guilty of being a hot-headed jerk with sharp edges. (The trouble is, people with sharp edges cut others, even those they don't want to, and people find that wearing after a while...) It's the gay man's dependency on women - particularly straight women - that bugs the hell out of me, not women themselves. I'm talking about the kind of dead-end, dysfunctional, and for the man, debasing relationship portrayed in Will & Grace, between the two lead characters. I'm talking about the majority of gay men worshipping Beyonce and Kylie, before supporting other gay artists. There's nothing wrong with liking straight artists, I'm not advocating separatism. I'm talking about self-loathing, putting heterosexuals up on a pedestal before we celebrate our own. Those gay men who big up E. Lynn Harris novels about the DL and bisexuality and diss the empowered individuals in Noah's Arc. So next time you run into the arms of your fag hag, ask yourself what you're running away from. 'Cos you sure as hell won't be running away from her. She's got the leash on real tight. And if you sit up on your hind legs and perform, she might even give you a treat. Elsewhere - Girls... Ew! Previously - Women Are Cancer. To Us?