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PICTURES
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing
Just when we thought that we'd never see EastEnders' Arinze Kene with his shirt off again (the boy's been disgustingly overdressed lately. Who cares if it's winter?), the BBC have delivered all our Christmases at once. Behold: Arinze in his underwear.
Never before have so many pause/rewind buttons been deployed so much.
I'm feeling you boo, and you're feeling me to
review
FIT
Greek Pete
Greek Pete
What must it be like to save a life? Many lives. It's a feeling writer and director Rikki Beadle-Blair and his actors must know, because that's exactly what their film FIT achieves.
Originally conceived as a stage play, FIT toured schools in the UK, with a definite gay agenda: to challenge homophobic bullying, and educate the masses on what gay really means. And being Rikki Beadle-Blair, it had to be funny, sexy, and pack a real emotional punch.
The play became a DVD, which went out to secondary schools across Britain as part of the National Curriculum (how's that for a gay agenda, America?) and became an even bigger success. But, no matter how good the film is, could it really change deeply ingrained homophobia amongst school children? Cynics will doubt any real seachange. But even if it doesn't achieve that aim, it will have one indisputable benefit.
Right now, there's going to be a little boy out there who's totally alone, who's been bullied nearly to death. He might be even be on the edge, about to jump off. And FIT will come into his school, and suddenly, there's a little ray of light, hope that it might get better. Don't doubt that this film will have that sort of impact: it will save lives.
Sermon over, FIT also happens to be hugely entertaining, with... ahem, a fit young cast that offers us a full candy shop of flavours: black, white, Asian - and even a redhead - the kind of racial diversity America just couldn't manage (at least, not as organically as this). It's split into several linked episodes, with each part focusing on one particular character: popular girl Karmel (Sasha Frost) and her homophobic parents; bully boy Ryan (Stephen Hoo) and his secret crush; football ace Jordan (Ludvig Bonin), who takes a stand against hate; and loud and proud drama teacher Loris (Rikki Beadle-Blair).
Joyful, witty, moving, magical and thoroughly delicious, FIT is truly ground-breaking. Everyone should see it.
Greek Pete is the flip side of the coin. If FIT's message is "it gets better", Greek Pete's is "don't end up like this".
That isn't a judgement on escorting (that would be somewhat hypocritical...) but rather the empty, nihilistic world inhabited by the film's characters: the dreaded "Scene", with its false camaraderie, grim dance music and mountains of coke.
Greek Pete actually has a lot in common with FIT: like Beadle-Blair, writer and director Andrew Haigh has created a thoroughly engaging, fascinating film, centred around the titular Greek Pete, who - like the characters in FIT do - inverts a stereotype; in Pete's case, that of the rent boy.
Nevertheless, the film is laden with a sense of doom, and waste. I was reminded of Paris Is Buring, or rather, singer Kele Okereke's comments on that landmark film: "I watched it again a few years ago on YouTube. As soon as it finished I started crying. You go to Wikipedia and all bar one are dead. And they died in such sad circumstances..."
I suspect Greek Pete's real value is as a time capsule. In twenty years viewers will look at it and wonder, "I wonder what happened to those poor, lost boys?"
Let's hope the answer doesn't echo Paris Is Burning.
The Parodical
The Parodical
news you won't read anywhere else
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| Youths on a beach stare in horror at a billboard showing the cover. |
ttitude - the gay lifestyle magazine - has apologised for the shock inclusion of a black model in its Sex Issue cover shoot.
"We have tested and trusted procedures in place to ensure this doesn't happen, but it's sadly inevitable that occasional breaches will occur," a spokesman for the magazine told the Daily Mail newspaper.
African-American model Eddie Diaz appears in the extended version of the cover, but Attitude bosses say they managed to limit the damage and keep him off the cover. Diaz himself admits, "I just hoped that by crouching down on the floor I'd slip under the radar. I really didn't want to cause any trouble, and apologise unreservedly for any offense I've caused."
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| Sagat and Diaz allegedly came to blows over whose trainers were best. |
We asked Attitude for a response to Diaz's comment, but a spokesman replied, "No one in the office speaks ebonics.
"Nor does anyone in the gay community want to see these sorts of people in our magazines. Gays want to read about Kylie and Lady Gaga, not rap music."
It's not the first time Attitude has run into trouble for breaking the rules universally adhered to by the gay media. In June, out singer Kele Okereke appeared on the magazine's cover, sparking outrage.
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| These boys told us: "We only ever read Gardeners' World Magazine." |
"He's about as queer as Bill Clinton," one reader complained. "Now they're trying to pass themselves off as gay just to get on the front of our magazines. That cover rightfully belonged to Jake Shears."
Prominent African-American bloggers have blasted Diaz's inclusion. "This is a return to slavery," lesbian separatist Jasmyne Cannick protested. "The white gay establishment have their magazines, and we have ours. Let Diaz appear in Clik or Flavalife.
"No good can come from the races mixing."
The Forestry Commission says it will "plant more trees than ever before" next year.
*This news item is fictitious.
