LENSED

MODEL JOE Bofunda is March and August in Blake Magazine's Basketball League Calender, which you can get your eager paws on here. And no, they aren't real basketball players, it just basketball-themed (which means trainers and balls). Joe - displaying enough thigh to put the trunk of a mature oak tree to shame - was lensed by Jean Quelquejeu.

As usual, click on the thumbnails for larger versions.

Do You Pay For It?

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The Truth Really Is Out There. It's Big, Red And Square

BACK IN OCTOBER, I wrote with no inconsiderable joy at the prospect of a campaign by the British Humanist Association to counter religious fundamentalism with billboards on buses using the slogan: "There's probably no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life."

"Religion is accustomed to getting a free ride - automatic tax breaks, unearned respect and the right not to be offended, the right to brainwash children. Even on the buses, nobody thinks twice when they see a religious slogan plastered across the side. This campaign to put alternative slogans on London buses will make people think - and thinking is anathema to religion." So said Professor Richard Dawkins, who supports the campaign and wrote The God Delusion. The campaign launched on 6th January with some fanfare. So far, none of the buses have been struck by a bolt of lightning. Maybe they're blessed. Probablemente Dios no existe. Deja de preocuparte y goza de la vida. How many of you clever boys and girls know what that means? Yes, you at the back, you're right! It's a direct translation of the BHA slogan, and it's going onto buses in Spain next week. This isn't going down too well in a country where Catholicism is the main faith. "Faith in God is not a source of worry, nor is it an obstacle for enjoying life," says the Catholic archbishopric of Barcelona. Tell that to the victims of the September 11th. And I suppose the Spanish Inquisition was just a jolly knees up too? Spain, is reflecting the worldwide trend of religious fundamentalism inveigling its way into issues of state and of law, where it has no business being. Prime minister José Luis Rodríguez Zapatero's socialist government has passed laws "allowing gay marriage, simplifying divorce and reducing the importance of religious instruction in the school timetable," and is changing the country's abortion laws. The Catholic church has been spurred into action and is fighting the progressive measures.

Back in good old Blighty, the Advertising Standards Authority has received 150 complaints about the campaign. The complainants say the adverts are offensive to people of all religions (what, even Jedis?) "It is given as a statement of fact and that means it must be capable of substantiation if it is not to break the rules," says Stephen Green of Christian Voice. "There is plenty of evidence for God, from people's personal experience, to the complexity, interdependence, beauty and design of the natural world. But there is scant evidence on the other side, so I think the advertisers are really going to struggle to show their claim is not an exaggeration or inaccurate, as the ASA code puts it." Well, if the beauty and design of the natural world are the evidence for God, then I'd offer this video of the natural world's violence, and man's inhumanity, as evidence to the contrary:

At least I would offer it, if I thought I needed to. But I'm grown-up enough not to need a Santa Claus figure to explain the whats and wherefores of life, so I won't. The final word on the nonsense complaints about the buses should go to Hanne Stinson of the British Humanist Association: "(I pity) the ASA if they are going to be expected to rule on the probability of god's existence. However, if they do investigate we will be very happy to respond."

TCR

HERE'S A GLIMPSE of the new Tottenham Court Road Underground station, due to be completed in 2016 with the addition of Crossrail.

The station is familiar to many of us as a gateway to Soho, and for being right underneath the Astoria. Of course, it's that very fact which led to the legendary venue's demise - the Astoria's last night, hosted by Manumission, will be on January 15th, after which the building will be demolished. The Astoria was home to the infamous G.A.Y. from the 1990s until last year.

As far as regeneration goes, there can be few more needy candidates than Tottenham Court Road tube, the ticket hall for which is about as big as my living room, but with 150, 000 a day passing through (although it seems like more if you're unfortunate enough to end up there).

Work starts on January 19.

How do you get inside the head of a 16-year-old knife wielding thug?

ALL OF THIS week I've been considering this well-intentioned poster on the platform wall at Leicester Square station. I have no choice but to look at it because moving to another part of the platform would mean that I'd get on another part of the train, the doors of which don't line up with the platform exit at Charing Cross (which means that instead of stepping straight off the train and upstairs before anyone else, I'd be stuck behind the shuffling hoards of zombies who can't walk any faster than an arthritic chihuahua).

Everyday I see the poster, I become more incensed. Well, first I was mildly irritated, then annoyed, and eventually full blown vexation set in yesterday. Far be it from me to bring on the Afro centric BS again, but why does the picture show a group of black and mixed-race boys attacking a white guy who looks like something from the cover of Men's Health? It's wrong on so many levels I don't even know where to begin.

Firstly, knife crime perpetrated by young black males is almost exclusively perpetrated against other young black males. But just look at the model they've used. He looks like he stepped off a catwalk, or out of an Abercrombie & Fitch advert. Unless he's a buy-to-let investor (boo, hiss) why would someone who looks and dresses like him be lurking on a rough'n'ready council estate? Oh, I've got it. The advertising agency thought it was an advert for the next Black Balled movie. The white dude's about to get gangbanged. Surely that's the only reasonable interpretation of this f**ked up image?

Don't these people have tone meetings? I'd love to have been a fly-on-the-wall for that one: "Gee whiz Bill, these kindly charity people want us to shoot an advert about abused, damaged kids." "Really Steve? Well gosh, sounds kinda unsexy, uncool. The public don't want all that misery and gloom. It's depressing!" "Well golly Bill, how about we sex it up, stick a hunky model in there and make it look like those young hoodlums want more than his wallet." "Say, Steve, maybe we can get the CocoDorm models to play the thugs?" "Don't be silly, Bill..."

The text in the advert asks: How Do You Get Inside The Head Of A 16-Year Old Knife Wielding Thug? Well, what exactly will 16-year old black boys going think when they say themselves represented like this? And the general public?

The ads are by the charity Kids Company, although the campaign and the space on which it's displayed were donated. Kids Company say of the campaign,

"We're challenging public attitudes towards anti-social and 'yobbish' behaviour by trying to get people to understand the experiences of children who have been abused and neglected.

You may have seen one of the five ads in the newspaper, at a Tube station, or in a public space. To make the debate and campaign truthful, we used images and facts which reflect the lives of some of the children we see at Kids Company.

The kids featured in the photos volunteered from a local youth club in Camden. We did not involve young people from Kids Company because our client group is too vulnerable.

The young people themselves were very keen to be part of these ads because they’re fed up of being discussed in the media without having a chance to explain where they’re coming from.

The more people who engage with the campaign, the better. Our aim is to challenge negative perceptions of abused and neglected children and promote greater understanding in relation to the impact of trauma and neglect on the developing brain.

It’s about encouraging everyone to take responsibility for this, so we can address social problems as one."

The adverts are certainly thought provoking, and apart from that one glaring error of judgement, very well done.

Visit Kids Company here. More adverts in the series can be viewed here.

Krave

SOMEHOW LAST YEAR, this sad news slipped under the radar, and it's the kind of news that never should.

Krave, a model who appeared in CocoDorm features, died at the age of twenty-three in the later part of 2008. One blog puts his death down to a heart attack but there's no hard facts, and I can't even ascertain the man's real name.

His death follows those of fellow CocoDorm models Dekenric Wiley and Eric Lamar Turner.

Maria Bonita Consweaylo & Carlos: A Love Story

BRUSH AWAY YOUR winter blues with Maria Bonita Consweaylo's moving testimony of her journey into womanhood. There's rosary beads, lip-reading and baby dick syndrome.

Much, much more at The House Of Majesty.

Matthew Rush Quits Falcon

OMG! MATTHEW RUSH, the man whose left thigh could easily feed a pride of lions for a week, has parted company with Falcon. This news is officially more earth-shattering than David Tennant leaving Doctor Who, Sean leaving EastEnders, and Coolio leaving his mouth shut for more than thirty seconds on Celebrity Big Brother (yeah, that last one is a lie).

Mister Rush started his career with Falcon - home to other ka-os|theory favourites Eric Rhodes, Brad Patton, Roman Heart - in 2001, and has since filled the screen (and various bodily orifices) in twenty-five movies.

The news doesn't come as a shock, following the hoo-ha over that Zeb Atlas scene, but Falcon without Matthew Rush would be like The Shield without Vic Mackey. The good news is he isn't giving up porn, so we can all play "what/who will Matt do next?"

How about an appearance in a Collin O'Neal flick? Or maybe a guest role in the CocoDorm, with Matt sorting out the boys from the thugs? Oh, oh, how about a Bel Ami? Number one on my list, though, would be a scene with real life couple Marvin & Andreas (two of the most exquisite men ever to grace our screens). Or Matt and twins! Matt making Tré Xavier's DP wish come true! Kristen Bjorn! The possibilities are endless.

I'm going for a lie down now, I'm dizzy.

I Is A Wigga, Man

"OY - DUDE, CUT the crap! You're a white dude! Stop with the afro-centric bullshit. Nothing more intolerable than a 'wigga'... As a black dude, I have the right to say that white folk have no right or reason to be so permeated in the black man's struggle. Get a life and stop the bullshit." Well, that's told me. It's not the first time anonymous commentators (both black and white) have left comments calling me wigger - and worse. I don't usually publish those comments, as they're always anonymous, but I felt that the time had come to address those accusations. Here's what I wrote in response: "Anon - how do you know I'm white? (I'm actually mixed Irish/Asian) I'll tell you what's more intolerable than a wigga: an angry, separatist "brother" with a chip on his shoulder. Now run along and jack off to James Earl Hardy. 'Black man's struggle' - ha! Not only are you a joke, you're a cliché. Finally, I'm not afro-centric, I'm just people-centric, and not a posturing, separatist racist like you. (P.S. Dude? As a "white dude" I have the right to say black folk have no right or reason to be so permeated in the surfer dude's struggle). (P.P.S. Are you the afro-centric brother on BGCLive who has "No White Dudes" on his profile, and sends me messages like "You're pretty fine for a white dude" on the DL? Yeah, I think you are.)" Anonymous is a racist. As I've said before about people of his ilk, if he were white, and I were black, and he said those sort of things to me, what would that make him? He wants to keep old wounds open, to play the victim and trade off his status as a soldier in the war against evil whitey. He hates interracial relationships, and can't stand the fact that Barack Obama's mother is white - although he'd never admit it. He sees racism in purely black and white terms: it's his struggle against me, and everyone with skin my colour. In his mind, racism isn't the complex issue that it truly is, encompassing every combination of ethnicity and nationality you can imagine. It's the poor downtrodden black man against Evil Whitey in the big house, and not Catholics vs. WASPs, Chinese vs. Japanese, Mexicans vs. African-Americans, Bajans vs. Jamaicans, West Indians vs. Africans, Pakistanis vs. Indians... Anonymous, you're insular, ignorant and a coward. And if I am a wigger, then what are you, sir? And what would I be if I said that word? (Pictured: Former Premiership footballer, and general slime ball, Ian Wright allegedly called a traffic warden a monkey, and told him to "f*** off back to your own country").

The White Knight

THE BBC HAVE announced that the eleventh actor to play the role of the Doctor in world's longest-running science fiction drama series will be twenty-six year old Matt Smith.

The news broke yesterday in a special edition of Doctor Who Confidential, the behind-the-scenes documentary which normally follows first run episodes of a new series. Initially, the news is disappointing on several levels. It's the eleventh Caucasian actor to play the role in the last forty-five years. There is no reason why the character of the Doctor should always be Caucasian - the character is an alien with the ability to "regenerate" his physical form when it reaches the end of its life, or suffers fatal trauma. In theory, the Doctor can take on the physical appearance of anyone. Doctor Who throughout its earlier run, from 1963-1989, was blindingly white. British television in the sixties and seventies was more or less exclusively Caucasian, and this only really changed in the eighties. In Doctor Who, non-white faces were rare. Following its demise in 1989, a re-tooled Doctor Who was relaunched in 2005 by Queer As Folk creator Russell T. Davies, and was a huge success. The character of bisexual Captain Jack (played by John Barrowman) was introduced, and the first non-Caucasian regular character in the show's history made his debut in the form of Noel Clarke's Mickey Smith. Since the 2005 relaunch, three actors have held the role of the Doctor, all of them Caucasian. At best, it's a lost opportunity to redress the balance. At worst, it's blatant racism. Why oh why does the BBC - famously a white, middle-class bastion - always cast a white actor in the role? Don't get me wrong - there's nothing I hate more than positive discrimination. As social evils go, it's right up there with ethnic cleansing (flipside of the coin anyone?) - but really, why didn't we seize this opportunity, why didn't we take a different road? Paterson Joseph was the bookies favourite to take the role, and I can't help but wonder at the possibilities his interpretation of the role would have broached. Oh, it's a shame.