KAOS: June 2010

review

Doctor Who: The Big Bang

V: Red Sky

In my sometimes misguided adolescence, I turned my nose up at American television - and American SF in particular - and worship British telly. Theirs was all surface gloss and no substance, I'd snottily proclaim: noise, big hair, perfect teeth, and conveyor belt plots. Our stuff (ironic that, being an Irish boy from the occupied North) was much better: intelligent, ironic, witty, gritty...

If ever that was true (was it just youthful snobbery?) then the last 10 years or so have well and truly changed things. Because these days, the only thing that UK Small Screen Inc. does well is soap. EastEnders and Coronation Street are amazing, wonderful beasts. But it seems like Blighty can no longer do drama, or even the humble sitcom, at which it once excelled. No wonder so many actors are flocking to America for a decent gig. And as yesterday's Doctor Who season finale proved, decent sci-fi is definitely of the menu too.

Last week, the first season of the reimagined V also concluded, and today I watched it back to back with Doctor Who.

One was an engaging, action-packed, straightforward yarn; the other a convoluted mess of tedious McGuffins, the sole purpose of which was to aggrandise its author. Steven Moffat's Doctor Who has been, almost from the beginning, an empty promise: so many bad, bad ideas and missteps; every decision made with a shrewd eye on merchandising.

I've watched Doctor Who since I was a toddler in the 80s. Some of my earliest memories are of Doctor Who. And I stopped watching this year. I didn't care. It's like a (straight) teenage fan had been handed the whole thing by the BBC and told, "There - do whatever you want." So we have a kid doing his best as the Doctor, horribly redesigned Daleks, sleazy slap'n'tickle, and then, in the finale, like, every monster, ever! Like, wow, dude!

The Pandorica. The Silence. Over-engineered gimmicks with grand labels, desperately stretched, like Cassandra from that first series back in 2005. A friend of mine - who writes novels and films and plays - often says that he longs for some straightforward storytelling. God, so do I. The over-cooked, re-heated shambles that made up this year's season finale was anything but straightforward. Thinking about it makes my head hurt.

The whole universe is destroyed (again?). The Doctor is killed (again? But oh no, actually he isn't). Amy is killed (but actually she isn't). Everyone is killed and so is the TARDIS (er... nah, they're not really). That's because in 21st century Doctor Who, you can play out any situation for thrills (or ratings), and there's never any consequences, because there's always a big reboot button at the end that makes everything better.

Just imagine the climax to Season 96, sometime in the future: The Doctor is being gang-raped by a pack of rabid Ogrons, while simultaneously, literally channelling Buddha, who's fisting eternity. BUT! A reflection on River Song's iPad 9.0 sends the Master into the heart of the Sun which then implodes and splatters everyone with cosmic cum, twitching the time vortex so that everything was the same as it was in the beginning.

You know where you are with V. They tell a story, you see, with thrills and spills thrown in. It's not perfect. The CGI spaceship interiors are appalling. The characters are, by and large, cardboard cutouts. This lot - complete with a conflicted priest - wouldn't be out of place in The Poseidon Adventure.

But it clips along. It makes sense. Characters don't have to vomit huge paragraphs of script in milliseconds, explaining what's just happened. When FBI agent Erica throws a grenade into Anna's revolting maternity ward, I get it. It makes sense. When the Doctor decides to fly the Pandorica, which was a prison, but is now a rocket (or something) into the Sun (which is the exploding TARDIS) and then doesn't die, or does (who knows? Who cares?), I don't. It just annoys me. Don't treat me like an idiot. I don't read The Sun and The Daily Mail. I don't like Jeremy Clarkson. And I don't like your Doctor Who - because it's shit.

That's what Steven Moffat's Doctor Who does: treats its audience like idiots; breathless, excitable puppies who'll respond to any old stimuli.

Doctor Who can be big and clever, and deep, and emotional. It has been before, from day one. But today's TV impresarios have one overriding agenda, and that is their own egos, their own careers, and their own bank balance. I won't be buying any of their ugly Daleks, or self-congratulatory DVDs. But thousands will do.

Moffat: you've done what no other producer has done in nearly fifty years. You've totally fucked it up.

ka-os|theory
a news compendium
with a gay bias
issue 68 | July 2010

||| BeautifulMag interviews Justin Monroe, whose latest book - Play Things - is about to drop.

||| Here's a story that'll put a smile on your face. This is David Mayer and Keith Kennard (right) - and their seven children. "We don't get a lot of rest," Keith says. Read their story - just avoid the reader comments underneath...

||| And the straight couple who tried selling their baby for $US25. Compare and contrast!

||| You'll hear a lot about Gay Pride in this issue - boys, girls (and boy-girls) across the globe are celebrating it. But some of us already have Gay Pride Parade fatigue. The Chicagoist talks to Cyon Flare about why Gay Pride parades still matter.

||| Who hates gay people: Youth, "orthodox Christians and Muslims, the low-skilled and some immigrant groups".

||| Esera Tuaolo - an NFL player who came out in 2002 - has been arrested on charges of domestic assault and disorderly conduct.

||| A gay Filipino shipyard worker (is it just me or does that sound so hot?) has lost his job for allegedly "offering a male co-worker oral sex, calling his crewmembers 'hot' and taking pictures of his crewmembers and posting them on social networking sites". And the problem is...?

||| A gay teen blogger has criticised his school and public library for failing to offer GBLT books.

||| Coming out stories: "The story tellers are getting younger," Taylor Siluwé writes. "Maybe its the gadget generation, because there were young stories before (we all have them) but they were never recorded. I wish I had a recording of my coming out in the 80's..." Make sure to check out the videos.

||| Gay print media in terminal collapse: Newspapers and magazines are already out of date when they're published, but are their successors - sites like Towleroad and Queerty - guilty of information overload? Is it a case of too much, too quickly, too often? I wonder...

||| So what's the bottom line look like for the mags and rags that are left?

||| American talk show The View perpetuates "damaging myth" that "down low" gay and bisexual African American men are the cause of escalating rates of HIV in African American women. GLAAD calls for retraction and education.

||| Race, ethnicity a challenge to gay acceptance.

||| Are teen books with gay themes taking off?

||| Too scared to sleep: GBLT youth face violence behind bars.

||| GBLT youth part of Obama plan to end homelessness.

||| Anti-gay evangelist Brian Johnson hands out bibles at Minneapolis pride festival; a judge had last week denied the pride organisers a restraining order against Johnson. Perhaps his presense will have served as a reality check for some of the attendees...

||| Now Texas wants to make like Malawi and imprison gays.

||| Ovation TV profiles photographer Jeff Sheng, the man behind the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" portraits project.

||| How do gays raise money for the Gulf wildlife relief effort (er... isn't that BP's job?) They slather themselves in cooking oil and wrestle in the street, of course!

||| A first-person account of the first gay pride march in 1970 - a year after the Stonewall riots. More: From latimes.com, How the Stonewall riots changed history; and from Village Voice, Queens of the Night: What Really Happened at the Stonewall Inn?

||| Time Magazine on homosexuality: Five articles from 1956, 1966, 1969, 1975, and 1979.

||| A Field Guide To Bears... should you need it.

||| Britain's first exclusively GBLT FM radio station - Gaydio - has gone on air.

||| London's Soho will have a street party this Saturday - despite Crossrail construction work limiting space.

||| Pride London's Festival Fortnight: Why we still need gay theatre.

||| Be afraid. Be very afraid: Muslims and Catholics unite against "negative" media and same-sex marriage.

||| Tory government, led by David Cameron (left), throws out iniatives to bring lesbian and gay issues into the national curriculum.

||| New Australian Prime Minister: "We've said marriage is between a man and a woman." Predictably backwards.

||| Is Orangina's new ad too gay for French TV (or a bit too close to bestiality for comfort)?

||| Poland: Ars Homoerotica, an exhibition of "classical works featuring homoerotic motifs", opens in Warsaw.

||| European Court of Human Rights rules that EU states are not obliged to allow gay marriage

||| Russia: Gay rights activists repeated tactics used in the Moscow (reported in Issue 65 - you might recall pictures of sexy Russian cops) in St. Petersberg over the weekend. More.

||| Czech Republic: In Brno (no, it's not a typo, it's the second largest city in Bel Ami-land) Queer Parade met with resistance from rightwing groups. Some 600 heavily armed police (left) held the bigots at bay (video, report in Czech - view in Google Chrome to translate).

||| Croatia: Gay Pride in Zagreb.

||| Bulgaria: Sofia's gay pride parade boasted 700 marchers, despite a counter-protest by "ultra-nationalists". All Queers to Uganda read their banners, demonstrating that even neaanderthals know something about global homophobia.

||| Germany: Berlin Gay Pride, and a cast of thousands.

||| France: Paris Gay Pride (left and right) attracted tens of thousands. In pictures.

||| Hungary: Hetero pride parade for Budapest, the aim of which is to "protest against the open practice and popularisation of homosexuality in Hungary".

||| Horrific: Twelve Spanish teenagers are killed crossing railway tracks on their way to the beach. Worse: "Several of those injured had been standing on the platform and were hurt by flying bodies tossed aside by the train as it sped along."

||| China: Hundreds turn out for Gay Pride Beijing.

||| "We don't want our parents to get hurt because of us. So we choose to get married." How China's GBLT community faces social pressure to get married.

||| Indonesia: GBLT people struggle for acceptance.

||| The Memoirs of Randa the Trans - an account of an Algerian transgender pioneer's battle against "family, society, country, religion and abuse".

||| UK and US deny Iraqi state involvement in anti-gay militias...

||| ...But it's "our moral duty to address gay discrimination in Iraq".

||| Meanwhile, it seems like Iraqi police are stepping up the witch-hunt targeting gays and lesbians; they raided a safe house in Karbala, arrested the six occupants and burnt down the house. One of the victims had their throat slashed (left).

||| Syria: Raids on GBLT groups escalate.

||| In Tel Aviv, they're debating teaching about homophobia in schools.

||| Zimbabwe: President Robert Mugabe's Zanu PF political party promises homosexuality will be outlawed in new constitution; gays will face stiff penalties.

||| And whilst Mugabe polices what consenting adults do in their bedrooms, child scavengers in Harare "bear tragic witness to the illusion of change". Heartbreaking.

||| South Africa refuses to back UN Human Rights Council in fighting homophobia, because protecting gays means demeaning "the legitimate plight of the victims of racism".

||| South Africa: 20 boys die from botched circumcisions performed at illegal initiation schools. Frightening.

||| Who is Horseboy?

||| Sarah Palin thinks prayer will fix the Gulf disaster.

||| But maybe we should all be praying anyway, because some seriously frightening shit is happening down there. Writes TechBear at Pam's House Blend: "The rapid outflow of oil from the underground reservoir is setting things up for a sinkhole. If that happens, it is almost certain that tens of millions of gallons of petroleum and tons of natural gas will be released all at once... Even if the well were capped today and its outflow brought to zero, and even if the integrity of

the rock is not further weakened and there is no sinkhole, oil and methane will continue to seep out through the sea bed for a very long time. This is bad, people, very bad. And there is nothing we can do at this point to stop it. It is starting to look more and more like my use of "ecological armageddon" is not hyperbole after all."

||| The Big Picture: Remembering the Korean War, 60 years ago, above (47 more pictures).

||| Edith Shain, the nurse photographed being kissed in Times Square to celebrate the end of the war in 1945, is dead. She was 91.

||| Older, partner-swapping swingers guilty of bringing sexually transmitted infections into the general population.

||| 12 health warning signs you should never ignore.

||| Animal pictures of the week (23 more pictures). Right, a bee "fitted with tiny radio ID tags to monitor their movements as part of research into whether pesticides could be giving the insects brain disorders".

||| Now we know how goats get their kicks...

||| Dog vs. car...

||| Icann approves .xxx domain, giving porn its own red light district.

||| YouTube wins copyright case brought by Viacom.

||| New Dyson blade-less fans. Cool.

||| More on the ceaselessly fascinating, remarkable High Line, due to double in size by next year. The new section will encompass some imaginative new features, like a flyover and balcony (right) framed by a mock billboard. Stunning.

||| We've been hearing a lot about Kele Okereke lately, and if you're in the UK you can't have missed the posters and billboards promoting his debut solo album, The Boxer. So how about an interview with the big lad?

||| Oh-oh... Beenie Man has replaced Snoop Dogg at The Hague's Parkpop festival. Ironically, Snoop was axed in order to "preserve the open and friendly atmosphere".

||| Trey Songz proves he can be an even dirtier tease than he has been already.

||| And look what Fantasia caught herself... This, my friends, is Redskins wide receiver Devin Thomas (right). He's a man.

||| (Another) never-before-seen portrait of Michael Jackson, who died one year ago.

||| Meanwhile, LaToya and Bubbles reunite.

||| Annie Lennox performed live in Milan at the Dolce and Gabbana Summer 2011 Men's Show. As Towleroad point out, "Because what better way is there to watch a parade of shirtless beauties than to the gorgeous balladeer that is Annie Lennox." Video.

||| But Calvin Klein's got David Agbodji for their men's show. Gulp.

||| Tyler Perry, Madea "skewered" on The Boondocks.

||| And Taylor Siluwé writes on the matter: "TP... believes it was an inside job. [He] wants to control any leaks of information about 'the compound!!' Madea is giving pink slips to his entire staff (not the shirtless boy wonders of course) starting Friday." Ouch!

||| Remember Dale from Big Brother 9? No? Neither do I. But he's looking foiiiinnnee as hell in these shots for the Checkum testicular cancer awareness campaign.

||| This is a bit weird: HIV-positive German Big Brother contestant arrested after biting six people on a gay pride float.

||| You might already have read my thoughts on Doctor Who's latest series, and specifically the season finale. The ever-reliable Cathode Ray Tube has a particularly thoughtful critique of it all.

||| Don't they just make the most adorable couple? Huh? They're not? Oh.

||| Right, Jason Momoa as Conan the Barbarian in director Marcus Nispel's Conan.

||| It's the news you didn't know you were waiting for: There WILL be a sequel to Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus! Only DListed can do this news justice.

||| But perhaps even less inspiring is The Social Network (or Facebook: The Movie), which sounds as fun as being trapped in a lift with Steve Jobs and, er, Mark Zuckerberg...

||| Broadway Bares: the "best, brightest and nakedest Broadway dancers". Much more at boy culture, with video. More pictures.

||| Bel Ami's 27-~~man~~boy orgy. My only question - why not round it off to 30? Why 27? Also: Clearly racist scum like James Earl Hardy and his ilk haven't seen these Eastern European beauties in action. White boys got no size/rhythm/game? These boys demonstrate that white really can be right.

||| Reese Rideout asks God if its okay to be a gay pornstar (your correspondent, by the way, loves, loves, LOVES Reese Rideout. Just thought I'd mention it).

||| Cody Kyler - Flava Works first white model (what - Dawgpound, Taggaz and PapiThugz don't have any white models. Could they be racist? Surely not!) - is to retire. For a minute. He's going to pursue a career in fashion design, mainstream print modeling, and television. Maybe he'll get a gig as token white guy on whatever the current equivalent

to My Wife And Kids is, or make it as a white rap artist. Oh wait - Eminem's got that gig!

||| Meet Diesel Washington's assistant, "Pat". Love. It.

||| Name that sex position: Rafael Alencar and Phillip Aubrey in Kings of New York. Somewhat uncomfortable for both parties, I'd wager, but camera-friendly.

||| National Pork Board takes a firm stance against ThinkGeek's Unicorn meat.

||| In our last issue we heard about the new Abercrombie quarterly. Wanna peek inside?

||| Meanwhile Mechad Brooks slips into some swimming trunks for GQ. And... oh! She's got her hand there? Bitch.

||| Butt Magazine beach towel, anyone? Dry your face between his legs...

||| And things wouldn't be the same without a peak into the world of sport, now would it boys? Plenty of action at boy|liberator as Cameroon lose to Denmark (Achille Emana, left), Ghana beating the US (right), and Ghana v Germany with some added brotherly feuding. But it was Japan's Keisuke Honda who got my attention this week...

||| The Big Picture covers the tournament, now at the halfway mark, with some truly remarkable pictures. The game leaves me cold, but this gallery of shots is stunning. 42 more pictures.

||| Finally, BE THE CHANGE!