She Didn't Mind The Gap

Imagine you have a microphone and a captive audience of cattle on auto-pilot, but the only thing you ever get to say is "Mind the gap" and "This station is..." Wouldn't it be great if you could say whatever you wanted? Well, that's just what voiceover artist Emma Clarke, the voice of London Underground, has done. Bursting free of her corporate straight-jacket, she has recorded some spoof announcements. In one message, she says: “Would the passenger in the pinstripe suit and £1000 glasses who obviously works in the media please take one step forward on to the track as the train arrives. Thank you.” Pretty good advice if you ask me. In another, she says, “Residents of London are reminded that there are other places in Britain outside your stinking shithole of a city and, if you removed your heads from your arses for just a couple of minutes, you may realise that the M25 is not the edge of the Earth.” Factually accurate, surely? You can hear them all on her site.

Unfortunately the joyless suits at Transport for London, the local authority which controls London Underground, don't see the funny side. A spokesman said, "Some of the spoof announcements are very funny. But Emma is a bit silly to go around slagging off her client's services. London Underground is sorry to have to announce that further contracts for Miss Clarke are experiencing severe delays." In other words, 'you're sacked, love'. See more on the story at the London Underground Tube Blog and on video at the BBC.