Out.com has gone and published an article about the 100 Greatest, Gayest Albums, a largely redundant exercise, since the 100 albums have been voted on by people like notorious racist Australian Darren Hayes, some pointless entity called Perez Hilton, and good old Boy George, who I suppose is the closest thing we have to gay royalty (albeit a badly behaved royal). Oh, they managed to ask Wilson Cruz too; personally, I think they should have left it to him, but I'm biased. Oh, Wilson, Wilson, Wilson...
Anyway, what were we talking about? Oh yeah, some corporate juggernaut's notion of the gay zeitgeist. Frankly, I'd be more interested if I didn't suspect the list wasn't largely dictated by snow-white fags who think David Beckham is a gay icon, for tedious queens who think Kylie's God (instead of the cynical c*** she truly is, talons grasping for every gay dollar she can get). No, there's nothing of the Harlem Renaissance or Rikki Beadle-Blair about this mess, it's all Elton John, Judy Garland and Madonna.
Now, I like a bit of Madonna once in a while; I love Rain. And I adore The Wizard of Oz as much as the next man. But, you know, it's all a bit of a cliché. We've had The Wire with Omar Little - gay men aren't just upwards-of-comfortably-well-off. We're not all white. We're not all either hustlers, or banal suburbanites. And some of us would happily stomp on Kylie's head - I mean, she has to be stopped somehow, doesn't she?
I do love a lot of the albums on the list: the Pet Shop Boys, who pop up frequently, are frankly a cornerstone of civilisation. But there's nothing surprising in this ghastly list, it's white, white, white, even down to your Tracy Chapman and your Sade. It's suburban and middle-class and mainstream and middle-America. It's Dale Winton and Queer As Folk and G.A.Y. and fake tans. 'Oh, but hip-hop is so homophobic, why should it be on the list?' I hear you whine. Well I'm not just talking about hip-hop, there's other forms of music - drum'n'bass? neo-soul? - and even if I was just talking about hip-hop, not all of it is homophobic, just ask Kanye West. Or gay rapper QBoy, or the Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy.
All in all, this banal list isn't a good advert for us. It pushes forth the opinions of the white middle-class majority and it ignores the sizeable minority of our minority. It reinforces stereotypes and holds us back.
It's enough to make me want to gouge Madonna's eyes out.