It isn't all bad news, however, since from Sunday, smoking will be banned, outlawed, prohibited and forbidden, in public places across the country. Smokers are crying foul: their human rights have been eroded! Britain is turning into a nanny state! But their victims - those of us who've been choking on their putrid fumes for years - can rejoice. It's now going to be safe to enjoy a night out in pubs, bars and clubs, without having to endure a sore throat and stinking clothes the morning after - or even the odd burn from a rancid queen waving their fag about.
One tip for non-smokers though - since you won't be able to tell who is and who isn't an ash tray whilst you're within the walls of your favourite club, how can you tell if that boy you've picked up is a DL Fag Ash Lil.
Maybe it's time to bring back branding?