THE WEEK ACCORDING TO GARÇON STUPIDE

*Gay Pride In Brasília. Many more pictures of the go-go boys at Made in Brazil. More extensive coverage of the parade at ParouTudo.com. It would help if you can read Portuguese. I can't.

*Gays Living - and Dying - in Fear in Jamaica: Most of the attacks against gay men in Jamaica are perpetrated by gay men. That's the gospel according to Jamaica's most prominent evangelical pastor, Bishop Herro Blair. He says: "Among themselves, homosexuals are extremely jealous." She's got a point, actually.

*African male sexual networks overlap with male-female ones, and the role of gay sex in the transmission of the virus that causes AIDS in Africa has been long ignored.

*Here's a huge surprise. Romania opposes same sex marriage. "It's defined throughout the code - spouse as between a man and a woman," says someone from Conservative bible nuts, Alliance Defense Funds. "It forbids these backdoor, so-called same-sex 'marriages' where Romanian citizens or foreigners come into the country and ask that their marriage be recognized by the country. It also does the same with civil unions." Well. We'll see what Brussels has to say about that. Ever heard of the European Convention on Human Rights?

*So how does Romania's position fit in with the rest of Europe? The International Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Association have made a map to show you. (By the way, what the hell is Intersex?!)

*Every three days, a transgendered person is killed somewhere in the world.

*The World Outgames 2009 have begun in Copenhagen. Some stats for your hungry holes minds: 5,500 boys and girls from 100 nations will participate in 30 events. There will be a human rights conference, where former NBA baller John Amaechi will speak.

*Meanwhile, the Venezuelan National Assembly has voted to pass a bill for gender equity and equality through the first round of discussion. The new law would would criminalise discrimination, recognise the rights of co-habiting same-sex couples, and allow for civil unions and gender reassignment surgery.

*India: a son murders his father's gay lover.

*Jonathan Campos, a 32-year-old gas system technician, has been charged with the murder of gay Seaman August Provost III (left). He was shot multiple times as he stood guard duty.

*On Wednesday, 30 brothers and sisters - and their friends - held a kiss-in at a San Diego Mormon temple.

*No Homo. First I've heard of this supposedly trendy gay slur. Apparently Cam'ron dreamed it up. Anyway, Dr. Marc Lamont Hill (phwoar! He can take my pulse anyday!) has got the hump about it.

*The reasons and realities behind the ex-gay movement. Yuk.

*The Sign. Oh f**k off.

*Blood and glitter at Chicago boy beauty pageant: one judge attacks another with the trophy in a dispute over voting.

*Gay American Apparel vandal.

*Burn the books!

*Stalls without walls.

*When gays break up.

*Being gay in prison - one man's story.

*If you're gay, pray you don't get ill in Australia.

*Elsewhere in the land of convicts, the lesbians have banned men. Don't want 'em. No boys allowed.

*One of Britain's largest police forces, Grampian Police, will display the rainbow flag in all of its offices to support gay rights.

*Gay Somalians living in London are reaching out to other gay Somalians around the world - despite threats and attempted to discredit them. "The launch of our website was greeted with horror, disgust and rage," says James, one of the five. "The Somali people around the world did not want to know that we existed and that homosexuality was not just a 'Western social problem', as they wanted to believe, but a Somali one too."

*Peter Tatchell has demanded that police investigate "gay exorcisms" being carried out by fundamentalist Christian churches. Tatchell points out: "The exorcisms can include traumatic emotional scenes where the victims are surrounded by a group of church elders who scream at them to drive out the evil spirits and who sometimes shake their bodies. When this is done to youngsters under 18, it is a form of child abuse and the police should intervene to stop it."

*And when the righteous families of our gay youth have chucked their children on the scrapheap, Jigsaw is there to help. It's a new initiative to tackle homelessness among SGL youth.

*Well, well, well. Conservative Mayor Boris Johnson (who, when he's not calling black children piccaninnies, referring to the watermelon smiles of Africans, and writing about the lower IQs of "blacks", can barely conceal his contempt for gays) has decided that the Greater London Authority won't be in Stonewall's annual Top 100 employers list. Last year, the GLA came third place. Dee Doocey, the Liberal Democrat London Assembly member, says: "The mayor's decision is a regressive decision and sends an appalling message out to employers across London." Johnson has previously said: "If gay marriage is acceptable so too should be a union between three men and a dog."

*Now, you fat Tory twat, this is how it's done: the Imperial War Museum North will celebrate the 10th anniversary of the lifting of the ban on gays and lesbians serving in the British Armed Forces.

*Ben Summerskill, chief executive of gay rights charity Stonewall, is standing down from the Equality and Human Rights Commission. He's the sixth commissioner to jump ship following the Government's decision to reappoint the controversial Trevor Phillips for a further three-year term.

*Remember the man banned by lesbians several stories back? Well, the boys don't want any fish stank up in the place either. A lesbian has complained after being turned away from the men-only Tom's Cruise Bar. What part of "men-only" don't you understand, love?

*Heteroflexible: there's hope for all you desperate bitches chasing straight boys after all.

*The horrific trade in human albino body parts.

*The tragic collapse of Kenya.

*What the West did to the Jarawa tribe.

*So - just who is Latino?

*The collapse of World Trade Center 7: what really happened?

*1,000 underwears - STOLEN!

*A good old-fashioned South Korean parliamentary brawl! Pure joke:

*Tom Daley takes a gold medal and becomes the first British world diving champion at the age of 15.

*74 per cent of people now support euthanasia.

*Redundant bankers trying to make it onto a fast-track teaching course just ain't good enough. I could have predicted that when this idiotic scheme was announced. Are bankers - greedy, empty husks of human beings - really the kind of people we want shaping the young minds of the future?

"You are in England now so speak English." What's going on in Brighton?

*Here's another of those If the UK were a village of 100 people things...

*Friday saw the beginning of the end for bendy buses; the first 9 of 396 vehicles - introduced by former Mayor Ken Livingstone to replace the beautiful, evocative Routemaster (above left) - will be replaced by standard single deck buses.

*Algae that turns carbon dioxide back into fossil fuel. Sounds like the solution to all our problems. Shame it can't do the same to Jasmyne Cannick.

*A spaceship held together by glue.

*OMG! A monster black hole at the centre of the universe sucking everything in! (Kind of.)

*Soap bubble in space!

*A Total Eclipse of the... er, Sun.

*Clouds could be seeded with flavored condensation and liquid nitrogen to force flavoured snow to fall. Don't ask why.

*Nevertheless, it's a much more pleasant proposition than the one put forward by the Pentagon. It wants to fire microwave pain-infliction from aircraft, to control crowds. Delightful.

*The end of computer viruses!

*Facebook will let you change your username - but just this once.

*"40 per cent of people diagnosed as being in a vegetative state are in fact minimally conscious." Minimally conscious, huh? Doesn't that cover the majority of people?

*These aren't just CT scans, they're CT scans as art.

*The blind border collie and his inseparable canine companion. This story might actually make you cry. If you don't, you have no soul.

*The Taco Bell Chihuahua Has Died.

*Oh God, I'm going to be sick. The World's Ugliest Animals. And they are, f**king vile, evil, Satan things. Jasmyne Cannick is not on the list (must be a mistake).

*A typographic map of Paris.

*MahaNakhon (left), a stunning skyscraper for Bangkok. Truly original.

*São Paulo's 360º Building (right).

*The destruction of Moscow's architectural heritage.

*And Manhattan Bridge isn't looking so solid either...

*Chris Brown says sorry for slapping Princess Alien Head. Let's hope it's an end to the matter:

*Chris Brown and Omarion flash their tits at each other. Some fish gets in the way.

*Kid British want a Britpop revival. The Manchester band's recent brilliant single Our House Is Dadless is here.

*Michael Jackson's father never abused him. Oh my God! He ain't even done nuffink and anyone what said he did is a dirty lezzer.

*Michael Jackson's better off dead, according to tedious plastic-face Rupert Everett, who also has some cringe-worthy thoughts on race and a glass houses moment on the subject of platic surgery. Just p*ss off mate.

*Michael Jackson's visit to Harrods; video.

*The Best Film Title Sequences Ever Made. My vote goes to Jackie Brown (not on the list) or The Towering Inferno.

*If that doesn't take your fancy, how about the The Worst Ending Ever? Trust me, it's risible in the extreme.

*Still not happy? Right, okay... How about a sexy London boy reviewing Brüno? I predict African American readers, in particular, will love him:

*The Big Gay Musical:

*The 17th Gaze Film Festival; the largest SGL film event in Ireland.

*Gay porn in True Blood! (Sadly, it doesn't involve Mechad Brooks.)

*The 10 Most Addictive TV Series of All Time. Doctor Who is the only British entry, at number 6.

*What telly are they watching in deep space?

*Everyone's bigging them up as Big Brother's first gay couple. They ain't. They could be, but it's unlikely. These bitches will probably kill each other before they f*ck.

*Is it time to kill off Big Brother? Hell no! This year has been one of the best, despite the general public voting out the most entertaining contestants week after week. (The only time they got it right was when four star bore Kris was unexpectedly booted out.)

*OMG! Deirdre in a Spanish wildfire!

*The re-tooled The Bill means no theme tune. Like other "in" TV shows. Word to the wise: people love theme tunes for a reason.

*Elsewhere, filming has started on the next season of Doctor Who. There's a new TARDIS prop, thanks to the advent of HD filming and a new producer, which is fine, since I thought the last once was well naff. The new one has a proper stacked roof and looks more like the '60s version, but the proportions still look weird.

*I didn't realise until I read this article that we're actually in the dying days of a decade. The supposed Noughties... Where were you ten years ago?

*A detailed account of an orgy in Oregon.

*AMG Beefcake for your iPhone - is Apple relenting on erotica?

*NYC firefighters 2010... Damn, these big lads. Anthony Dellaventura is pictured.

*No no no... Flavaworks model Elmo Jackson, a.k.a. William Christopher Ratliff, is arrested for identity theft, passing bad checks of $500 or less, and theft of property $1k-10k.

*Diesel Washington demonstrates a sexual position of his own invention, The Chalice.

*Twins! Video.

*E. Lynn Harris, the author, 1955-2009.

ISSUE 19

On the cover: Tom Duer, by Rick Day.

POSTSCRIPT
"You know, we might just as well not have bothered to come. The whole thing's been ridiculous."