REVIEW

Doctor Who: The Waters of Mars, BBC One, 15th November 2009

"For a long time I have thought I was just a survivor but I'm not. I'm a winner, that's who I am: a Time Lord victorious."

THE DOCTOR IS GOD.

There you go, spelled out, just in case you're too thick to comprehend Russell T. Davies sledgehammer-subtle railroading of our Timelord hero's character.

And not just God-like, or Godly, or any other intimation of omniscience; Davies has re-written 46-years of telly lore, bending it to his own agenda, making our hero the villain of the piece. Oh, very clever. I bow to your brilliance, Mr Davies. When the bottom of the ideas barrel has been licked out, just make the good guy crazy and turn him bad. Who needs things like plot structure or character integrity when you can have BIG! CROWD-PLEASING! SHOW-STOPPING MOMENTS! all played out at breakneck speed without a care for things like clarity or basic logic (Bowie Base One is a fixed point in time, it can't be changed! It mustn't! Er, okay then, it can. Doh! No it can't, actually) under a music score that would give a Metallica fan a headache. It's not even good music, just the boombastic shite they smother Hollywood blockbusters with to stop people actually thinking. But that's what RTD's writing is all about really: drama without integrity, noise and spectacle; an utterly joyless wank in the dark. It might be fun at the time, but you'll hate yourself afterwards.