The Sun Will Explode

I have a Dell desktop, the specificications of which I knew only when I read them on the order page, and which I instantly forgot when I clicked Confirm Order. (I also have a laptop of some description that stopped working for no apparent reason, but which I'm embarassed to get repaired due to the possibly abnormal volume of porn contained on it.)

Golly though, I'd love my computer to look like this:

Oh, and you wouldn't, I suppose? Bah! Maybe you haven't seen the classic, pessimistic SF space opera Blake's 7, in which everyone was a bad guy, even the good guys, and in which the super-computer Orac looked exactly like the box of delights above.

See? So, the logic is, wouldn't it be awesome if my computer looked just like Orac? Don't get it? Grrr... why do I bother?

Such things as the transparent PC case pictured above are sold by Logisys, as well as "cold cathode super deluxe combo kits, liquid neon thunder patterns, and 5 LED lazer lights" (according to Tech Digest).

That same site, Tech Digest, has news of all manner of cool gadget thingumys, like this 150" Panasonic telly:
Oh-er, it's a big 'un, innit? Perfect for watching Matthew Rush, or even David Attenborough (and no, I don't know who of the two I'd most prefer to spend some time with). If your mind is as filthy as that, you might like this accessory for your iPlod - er, sorry, I mean iPod - or even your mobile phone. Yes indeed, it's what it looks like - a vibrating cock ring, if you please.

Apparently, it activates when you receive a text or call, and even on demand, should the need arise. Well, you just don't get that sort of malarkey with MiniDisc, that's all I'm going to say.

Of course, none of this will matter if the sun explodes in 2011 or 2012. Boffins at The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration say that the sun is going into a new cycle of sunspot activity. The worst case scenario is that power grids will collapse, GPS systems will fail (bad news for planes, trains and automobiles, I suppose) and mobile phone networks will go down (that's a bad thing, is it?)

It's only a possibly, maybe, kids, so don't go out and have loads of unprotected sex because you think civilisation is going to end in a few years. In any case, we'll probably all be flooded out by then thanks to the Americans and the Chinese exacerbating global warming, or be in little bits at the hands of some Islamic nutjobs...

Happy 2008!