There's dumb rappers, like DMX, and smart rappers, like Lupe Fiasco. Dizzee Rascal, the boy from Bow, is a smart rapper. So I read this with dismay. And no, my dismay is not due to his arrest for possessing an offensive weapon (er, a baseball bat; it's not even British). My dismay is that it happened in Sevenoaks. Sevenoaks. Why, Dizzee, why?! Then there's Seal, for whom I once had so much respect. I tried to overlook the (yawn) showbiz (yawn) marriage to some Eurotrash stick insect, but this has done it. Shut up, Mr Seal. Please, just shut up.