Someone called Madonna, who was apparently once a pop singer/porn star in the eighties, has been moaning in the press about the state of London's transport system. The knackered harpy currently takes up valuable space in the capital after being dumped on London by America (still, they got the Beckhams, so I don't know who's worse off).
A tirade of vitriol has spewed forth from her old lady lips about traffic in the city (apparently it's bad, unlike other major cities in the world, like New York and Paris et cetera, where there's no cars) and the Tube isn't very nice either. Because Madonna, when out shopping for incontinence pads and instant botox, uses public transport all the time. Uh huh.
Of the impending Mayoral elections, she said this: "'Will Ken Livingstone get my vote? No."
Now, the race for the Mayor of London is a two horse race, between the incumbent (and leftwing) Ken Livingstone, and Conservative Boris Johnson, who can only be described as rightwing. He once described black people as piccaninnies with water melon smiles - but he's now apologised for that, which makes everything okay.
But back to Madonna, who won't be voting for Ken Livingstone - or anyone else for that matter (although she clearly means she'd be voting for racist Boris Johnson because Ken makes her life so difficult). You see, Miss Madonna, in order to vote, you must be a UK, Republic of Ireland or qualifying Commonwealth citizen. And you're not. You're a saggy-titted, poisonous Yank bitch.
So go home. NOW.
Words by kaos on Friday, March 28, 2008